Just for fun...A friend mentioned to me the other day that I had a lot of poopy kid stories. We talked about them and laughed about them over the phone for a while and I decided that it would be good for a laugh on my blog. Keep in mind that none of these stories were funny when they happened! They are now though. I'll start with the first one I can remember and end with the most recent. Feel free to cast you vote for the funniest.
Turd on the Floor:When Ella was potty training she would often get a little poopy in her undies and try to hide it from me. Shortly after she turned three, she was wearing undies and had one of those days. I walked into her room and caught her trying to clean herself up with TP and her undies were lying on the floor. I asked her what she was doing as I picked up the underwear from the floor. When I picked it up, I quickly discovered what was going on when a turd fell onto the floor. Don't ask why, but I screamed. Later, we were making a video and I asked Ella what happened and she said something like "I pooped in my pants." (ashamed) and then "then Mommy said"AHHH" and a turd fell on the floor" (laughing).
Where is That Smell Coming From?I was home for lunch nursing Sophie when she was only a few months old. She had a big explosion while nursing that leaked out her diaper and got all over the Boppy pillow and me. I noted that some was on my shirt and promptly changed that (after changing her of course) prior to returning to work. While I was at work, I kept smelling poop. I went in the bathroom a few times trying to find where the smell was coming from. I didn't discover until I nursed her again after work that there was poop on my bra pad! Yuck! I went all afternoon with a poopy bra pad!
What is This Squishy Stuff?After getting Sophie out of bed and changing her diaper one morning a few months ago, I decided to let her "air out" a little. In the mean time the phone rang or Ella needed me or something that called me to the other room. I was gone only a few minutes, but when I returned I found Sophie standing in a pile of poop and looking down at her feet with a "What is this? What happened?" look. Poor thing.
Playing in the Potty:One night I was talking to my mom on the phone after supper. Note that during supper, Ella had made a run for the bathroom for a poop and pee. I was sitting on the couch and Sophie was walking around playing. We always closed the doors down the hall to keep her where we can see her. She disappeared down the hall for a while, so I went looking for her. I discovered her in the bathroom (the door was left open) playing in the toilet - which hadn't been flushed after Ella went potty. She had toilet paper in her hand and may have put it in her mouth. I got off the phone with my mom, yelled at Sophie (out of horror) and stuck her in the sink and scrubbed her hands and rinsed her mouth with soap. Poor thing had no idea what I was doing to her. She didn't know she was doing anything wrong. Gross!
Left Behind, Naked, and Stinky:Holly and Ryan and their girls were visiting this summer. Sophie had a doctor appointment, so they dropped me and her off at the appointment while they took the other girls to McDonalds. I was going to call them with my cell when we were done. I had the diaper bag, but no stroller. Why would I need it? After the appointment, I went for my phone to call them and realized that I had left it in the charger in the car. The appointment had gone very quickly, so I decided that Sophie and I could walk the five or so blocks. I was about 6 months pregnant at the time and carrying her and the diaper bag was pretty exhausting in the summer heat and she dawdled too much when I tried to let her walk. We were about a half a block away from McDonalds and I just needed a break, so stopped inside a store for about five minutes. Needless to say, Holly and Ryand and the other girls were gone by time we got to McDonalds. I was exhausted and had no phone. I decided to stay there and get food for Sophie. I borrowed McD's phone and called Warren to call my mom and have her call them and tell them where I was. I was about ready to order when I smelled something from Sophie. I quickly took her to the bathroom and discovered that she had the biggest messiest poop that she had had in quite some time. It was all over her shirt and pants. So, I frantically cleaned her hoping Holly and Ryan wouldn't come back while I was in the bathroom and leave again. I had no outfit to change her into and since her diaper was so messy, some got on the changing table. I cleaned everything up as well as I could and went back up to the counter to inform them that they may need to sanitize the changing table and to ask if anyone came in looking for me. No one had, so frazzled and holding a naked (except for a diaper) and hungry baby, I asked to borrow the phone again. I called Warren and he informed me that he had not been able to reach my mom. I was on the McD's cordless phone when I saw Holly and Ryan pull into the parking lot. I went running out with their phone and my naked baby on the verge of tears (me) and waved them down. After returning the phone and getting in the car, Ryan said he just saw me and felt like "Oh, no, poor Janel." Anyway, we did have a nice day in Cedarburg that day. Sophie just rode around in her strooler in her diaper (despite my attempts to find a little onesie or something cheap - Ha Ha , in Cedarburg - for her to wear. One store that I asked if they had anything, said they had a sign we could hang on her that said "Poop Happens". Thank goodness it was warm out. :)
Something in The Water:A couple of months ago, I was giving Ella and Sophie a shower with me. I had gotten out of the shower and was letting them play in the tub while I got ready. I looked over at them and noticed something in the water next to Sophie. I quickly took Ella out of the tub before it got to her and then grabbed Sophie and rinsed her under the shower. It wasn't just a turd, there were little pieces too, and I didn't know what to do! Our tub drains really slowly, so while it was draining and the kids were sitting naked on the floor, I ran down and got a bucket of bleach water and some paper towel and bags. I was in my robe, there was poopy water in the tub, and the kids were naked on the floor of the bathroom waiting for me, and the doorbell rang. Thank goodness it was my friend Stacy! After that, we got everyone and everthing cleaned up and all was good. Oh yeah, before I even got Sophia into the shower, she had peed on the floor (including the rug) while she was waiting for me to put her in - and right after I took her off the potty.
Squishing Down the Slide and Homemade Diapers:This past weekend, Sophia had had diarrhea for about a week, and I thought she was done. We were on our way back from Dubuque and had stopped in Shullsburg to play at a park while Warren met with a perspective client for work. He had said it would take about 20 minutes and we had left the diaper bag in the car. The kids and I had been playing for about 10 minutes when we heard a big explosion from Sophie. I didn't have a diaper bag, and Warren should have been coming in about 10 minutes. I was letting her play, but worried about it squishing out into her pants. So, I took her pants off, and let her play. Well, she went down a little tunnel slide, and it squished out, since I didn't want it to get on her pants, it got on the slide :{ I grabbed her and Ella and ran to the disgusting public park restroom where there was no soap or paper towels in the women's room. We went into the men's room, I wet towels and cleaned Sophie's legs and took her daiper off and cleaned her bottom with wet towels. I then grabbed a few handfulls of wet and dry towels to clean off the slide. Imagine me nine months pregnant trying to climb in a tube slide to wipe up diarrhea. I then made a temporary diaper with some towels just to get us by for a few more minutes. Warren would be back any minute now. Well, about 15-minutes later, Sophie was climbing up the stairs of another slide whan I noticed pee running down her leg from under her homemade diaper. The diaper helped a little, but two of the stairs had pee puddles on them. So.... we walked back to the yucky bathroom and made another diaper and got more paper towels to clean the stairs. (Poor Ella - every time right afterSophie had done that she was about ready to go on the slide and I had to tell her no and drag her off to the bathroom with us again.) After we cleaned that mess, I kept them on one place (this had been about 45-minutes since Warren left) as well as I could to just wait for Warren because he would be there any minute. It was almost 1:00, we were hot and hungry and Sophie's 2nd homemade diaper was continuously falling off when Warren finally arrived an hour later. The lesson: No time is so short that you don't need a daiper bag!
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